


Grindyl’s Big Adventure

by ReginaNocis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: De-Gnoming for Dummies, Draco needs a hug, Gnome’s POV, Harry is highly amused, I don’t even know, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:27:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22392502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReginaNocis/pseuds/ReginaNocis
Summary: Grindyl just wants to live in the garden in peace. Sure, his neighbors can be annoying, but he likes his hole. He’s extremely tired of having to move. So why do these monsters keep trying to chase him out?AKA Draco just wants a gnome-free garden. Is that so wrong?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	Grindyl’s Big Adventure

**_~The First Time~_ **

It was early in the morning when the tragedy began. He had only just opened his eyes when he was grabbed unceremoniously by his feet and hauled into the air. A blonde giant was scowling at him, his eyebrows wrinkled in disgust. The gnome glared right back, squirming in an attempt to free himself from the monster’s grasp. When he was not immediately released, he pulled himself up towards the monster’s hand and sank his teeth into the meaty flesh. With a yell, the monster dropped him to the ground to clutch at his hand. It was not a great start to the day.

The gnome, whose name was Grindyl, pushed himself to his feet and waddled quickly towards his home: a hole in the ground that he’d dug himself several weeks ago. His neighbor, Brissel, ran by him in an attempt to evade a brunette monster that Grindyl had not yet noticed. The second monster towered higher than the first, and he was faster. He was also now between Grindyl and his precious home. Grindyl had no choice but to change course quickly in order to remain safely on the ground.

Grindyl watched as Brissel was scooped up by the blonde monster, who had seemingly learned his lesson. Instead of studying Brissel with distaste, he swung him in a wide circle and tossed him far into the distance. Grindyl had to wince in sympathy; it was how he’d been ejected from his last home. Brissel would never be able to find his way back. He’d have to start over with a new hole in a new location. Grindyl could t honestly say he’d miss Brissel.

The blonde monster quickly turned his attention back to Grindyl once he was rid of Brissel. Unfortunately, the rest of the neighbors had risen by this point. Most everyone remembered the horror of being uprooted from their homes, and it was becoming clear that they would not go quietly this time. Grindyl was backed against a bush when the first attack was launched. Rocks bounced off of the monster’s hide, and he roared in pain. Words that Grindyl didn’t understand spilled from his mouth as he straightened up and turned away from the gnome. The second attack came almost immediately, as if they were simply waiting for his attention. They rushed him, biting every inch of exposed skin that they could reach. Grindyl watched in amazement as the blonde monster fell to his knees in pain, sweeping his arms out to knock the other gnomes away. The brunette monster was making a noise unlike any Grindyl had ever heard, and baring his teeth menacingly.

Grindyl had an important choice to make. He could join the epic battle to defend his neighbors and their homes… or he could be smart and save himself. If he made it to his hole, he’d live to see another day without having to dig a new home. Really, it was the only choice that made sense. Even now, the brunette monster had begun to scoop up gnomes and toss them as far as he could. The blonde one had not recovered yet, but it was only a matter of time. Grindyl surged forward, his entire focus going to making it safely underground. It was, of course, his fatal mistake.

He made it feet from his hole before the ground seemed to tilt beneath him as he was lifted straight into the air. He let out an ear-piercing howl, but the monster didn’t seem affected at all. It was then that a miracle happened: the monster forgot to twirl him in the air before throwing him. Grindyl landed far from his hole, and the impact certainly hurt… but he could see the path home clearly. Beside him, Brissel was attempting to get to his feet. He was clearly so dizzy that he could hardly move, and Grindyl sighed as he made his way over to help. They would wait until the rampage was over, and then they would go home. They had not been beaten this time.

**_~The Second Time~_ **

****

Grindyl was out in the sun, enjoying the peace that had come from most of his neighbors being forcefully evicted from their homes nearly a week ago. His eyes closed and he breathed deeply, nearly falling asleep in the stillness. Of course, it wasn’t to be. A loud noise roused him from his slumber, and the ground shook beneath him as he struggled to his feet. The monster’s had returned, and this time they had brought reinforcements in the form of a giant. This one had long ginger hair that looked like fire in the sunlight. Even worse, they looked extremely angry.

Grindyl had learned his lesson from the last time. He hadn’t gone further than a few feet from his home since the last attack. He’d been so certain that he hadn’t been spotted. Brissel, of course, has not been so careful. Grindyl deeply regretted having helped his neighbor find his way home in that moment. He watched from the safety of his home as the ginger giant carelessly twirled Brissel through the air repeatedly before simply letting him go and watching him fly away.

Grindyl watched as each one of his neighbors were brutally ejected from garden, each one being spun violently and released into the air. The brunette monster slapped the ginger giant on the back, and he didn’t move even an inch from the impact. He had never been more scared than he was in that very moment. He didn’t dare to leave his hole as they seemed to finish their tirade.

Hours later, after every single gnome other than himself had been torn from the ground and tossed away like trash, Grindyl watched as the monsters and the giant began to retreat. He could hear their triumphant noises from underground. In that moment, he decided that he would have his revenge. It would just take a little time to plan it.

**_~The Third Time: Grindyl’s Revenge~_ **

****

This time, Grindyl was ready when the monsters and giant came back. There were new neighbors, of course, but they had all been warned. Grindyl had supplied them with his plan and they had all handed together to put it into motion. In total, the garden now housed seventeen gnomes. Each gnome had dug their holes in a hidden location that was not easy to spot. And each gnome had connected their homes with a network of tunnels that traveled throughout the garden.

Grindyl did regret that the beautiful (and delicious) fruits and flowers had to die. The tunnels had uprooted some of them, and the gnomes had used the rest of the roots for snacks as they worked. The garden had gone from beautiful to desolate in a little under two months. This was all part of Grindyl’s plan to anger the monsters and make them come back. As he watched the last flower begin to shrivel, he knew it wouldn’t be long before they returned. It was now time for him to begin stage two.

Gnomes were magical creatures, which meant that they did in fact possess at least a tiny bit of magic. Grindyl himself did not have much, but his new neighbor, Larys, had some of the strongest gnome magic he’d ever seen. She had quickly agreed to assist him in his plan. As he watched, she laid the groundwork for a magical trap that would hopefully make the monsters leave and never return. They finished not a moment too soon; as the ground glowed green, they could see the monsters rounding the corner angrily. The giant was not with them, but it hardly mattered.

Grindyl sent Larys back to her hole quickly, before they could spot her. A big reason that so many had agreed to help him was that he’d promised safety to the lot of them. They could hide in their holes while Grindyl himself acted as bait to catch the monsters and exact revenge. He stood in the open, seemingly unprotected. The monsters didn’t stand a chance.

It was true that most of the plants had perished, but it was also true that dead vines were just as thick as living vines. As the monsters entered the garden and made their way towards him, he waved his arms and stuck his tongue out. He needed to goad them into coming after him- not that it was hard. They seemed to have a grudge against his species. The blonde one rolled up his sleeves in anticipation as they sped towards him, a smirk on his face. Clearly they thought they had the upper hand.

They crossed the invisible line of magic before they reached Grindyl. A few feet in front of him, they seemed to freeze in place. Confusion was clear on their faces as they tried to move, but they were unsuccessful. Grindyl could feel Larys’s magic swirling through the air with the breeze as a clump of vines began to snake towards the monsters. The vines wrapped firmly around their ankles, raising them into the air slowly as they struggled. Their fierce roars were overwhelmingly loud, but the vines did not slow from their task. As Grindyl watched, the vines began to spin the monsters through the air, gaining speed rapidly. Suddenly, the vines released them into the air.

The happiest moment of Grindyl’s life was watching the two monsters soar through the air and out of sight over the hedges that lined the once beautiful garden. He had done it! He had achieved his revenge! And he was completely certain that they’d never have to deal with those two monsters ever again.

**_~A Brief Interlude~_ **

****

Harry handed the ice pack to Draco gingerly, avoiding his gaze as he sat across from him at the table. Draco had expressed concern over the gnome that seemed to return every time it was removed, but Harry had been certain it wasn’t the same gnome. They all looked alike, after all. Even Ron had said it wasn’t likely that a gnome would be able to return after being removed. How could he have known?

“Are you ready to listen to me now, Potter?” Draco remanded, placing the ice over his knee. He had to be really angry to have reverted back to last names.

“Yes, alright. I was wrong. Are you happy now?” Harry shot back. He absolutely was not pouting, thank you very much.

“Next time, when I tell you I’m sure of something, you’d better at least listen to my reasoning. The bloody thing bit me! I think I’d recognize it a second time,” Draco informed him.

“How did it even do that today? I’ve never heard of a gnome fighting back before,” Harry asked, frowning.

“I keep forgetting that you grew up in the Muggle world. Gnomes are magical creatures, Harry. I’ve never heard of one doing this, but… they are capable of magic. I assume this one felt threatened and lashed out. We’ll have to be smarter next time. Maybe a stunning spell?” Draco replied. He’d calmed down significantly, thankfully.

“What if… what if we just left the gnomes alone? We could start a new garden in front of the house, since that one is as basically destroyed anyway. What could it hurt?” Harry suggested. Draco rolled his eyes.

“Please try to remember that we just got our arses kicked by a _gnome_ of all things. My pride will not suffer the indignity of letting it win. The gnome must go,” Draco shot back. “We need better backup. What about Longbottom?”

“He doesn’t want any part of the violence. And before you say it, neither does Luna. What about your friends?” Harry replied.

“My friends?” Draco scoffed. “It’s bad enough I’ve stooped to de-gnoming my own garden! I will not be telling them about it, much less asking them to join me.”

“But it’s alright for my friends to know?” Harry asked wryly. He already knew the answer.

“Harry,” Draco sighed.

“I know, you don’t need to say it again. I’ll ask Neville for suggestions tomorrow. Maybe he’ll at least have an idea,” Harry rolled his eyes.

**_~The Fourth Time~_ **

****

The peace lasted for seven days. Grindyl enjoyed strolls through the ruined garden, soaked up as much sun as he wanted, and made friends with a few of his neighbors. Larys turned out to be excellent company, helping him dig a more spacious home with the use of her magic. It was an era of bliss for the gnomes. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. This time, the end came in the form of golden mist.

Grindyl’s closest neighbor, Dreckl, was just beginning to dig a new hole for his daughter when the mist descended. Grindyl watched on in horror as Dreckl froze in place, the. Slowly toppled to the ground. He did not move again. Poor Larys heard the noise of horror that Grindyl let out, and she left her own hole to investigate. The moment she touched the golden mist, the exact same thing happened to her.

By this time, Grindyl had realized what this must be. The monsters had found them once again. Though he couldn’t see them, he knew it must be true. What else would want to ruin their beautiful peace? He couldn’t win a fight against mist, and he knew it. The best thing he could do was hide and love to fight another day. He couldn’t even save his new friends.

Now, Grindyl knew he must be the target of this attack. He’d unleashed revenge and now was being forced to pay for it. He didn’t go to his own hole. Instead, he dove into Larys’s home and quickly made his way into the tunnels that they hadn’t bothered to fill in. He made quick work of the entrance, effectively burying himself underground until he could be certain that it was safe to return.

Two days later, Grindyl resurfaced to find that the garden was completely vacant. There was no more mist, and no monsters in sight… but there were also no more gnomes. At least this meant that they had probably been kept alive. Unfortunately, it meant that he was alone once more. This would take some thinking.

**_~A Second Argument- I Mean Interlude~_ **

****

“You’re being paranoid,” Harry sighed. It was all he could do to prevent himself from tearing out chunks of his own hair. Draco had been obsessed with the gnomes for weeks now. He thought it would be over after they used Neville’s spray to get rid of them once and for all… but it had only made things worse.

“I’m telling you, it’s still out there!” Draco exclaimed angrily. He slammed his fist onto the table, making Harry jump. “It wasn’t with the ones we let loose in the field. It _wasn’t_.”

“There’s not much we can do about that. Seems we’ve found the only smart gnome in the world,” Harry said gently. “Are you ready to revisit my idea to just let it be?”

“I will _never_ let it be,” Draco swore, glaring angrily at Harry, who eyed his clenched fist warily.

“This is making you crazy, Dray,” he pointed out. “I’ve never seen you so… obsessed.”

“Really? What exactly do you think I was like in Hogwarts, when I was… well, you know what I was like. And I seem to recall that you have no room to talk,” Draco shot back.

Harry’s cheeks were red as he replied. “This isn’t any healthier now than it was for either of us back then. How about we make a deal.”

“I’m listening,” Draco said after a few seconds of consideration.

“We will try one more time to get rid of the gnome. If we don’t succeed, we’ll go with my plan and just leave it alone to live it’s life. If we succeed, you can do whatever you want to gloat. Deal?” Harry proposed.

Draco thought about it for a while before a wicked grin spread across his face. “Deal. But this time, we’re doing it my way.”

**_~The Final Time~_ **

****

Most normal gnomes would have given up after the second attack. They would not have continued to fight after a _giant_ showed up. Unfortunately for those pesky monsters, Grindyl could never have been described as a normal gnome. He liked his home, and he liked his garden. Nothing in this world was going to remove him from it as far as he was concerned. Now if only those giants would understand.

He waited for their inevitable return. It was clear by now that they would not be giving up. The blonde one had a crazed look in his eyes when he saw him last that had promised violence. He did not have to wait long to see what their next attack would be.

This time, it was only the blonde one. The brunette had either given up or was waiting to ambush him- both were possible. No new gnomes had moved into the garden to be targeted. Grindyl was completely alone this time. Word must have spread about the savage monsters that took pleasure in attacking every chance they got.

Grindyl was not afraid as he watched the blonde one enter his garden. He made no move to hide himself. If this was how it was meant to be, then so be it. He would face his fate with dignity… and as much violence as he could manage. He wasn’t leaving without a fight. Just as the blonde monster reached him, however, the most amazing thing happened.

Rocks flew through the air, striking the monster mostly on the head. From all corners of the garden, gnomes were stepping out of the shrubs and arming themselves with more rocks. Grindyl could see every single gnome that had called this garden their home since the monsters had begun their attacks, and it filled him with confidence. Together, they would take back their garden.

The monster was roaring again, probably to summon it’s mate. Even as he thought this, Grindyl watched the brunette one run into the garden. The gnomes didn’t hesitate to turn their attack on their new foe. Rocks were flung from every direction, hitting their mark with deadly accuracy. For a few glorious moments, they got to watch their tormentors suffer. It didn’t last long; within a few seconds, the brunette one had done something to make the rocks bounce off harmlessly. Instead of lashing back, however, it focused it’s attention on it’s mate.

The onslaught of rocks stopped once they were no longer effective, and the gnomes watched as the brunette one helped the blonde one up off of the ground. Then, the brunette one did something extraordinary… he knelt on the ground and offered his hand to Grindyl. Grindyl was no fool. He did not immediately reach forward towards the offered hand. He knew that it was most likely a trick. But as he stared suspiciously at the monster, it seemed to understand his reluctance. He retracted his hand long enough to pick up a rock, which he then transfigured into a large strawberry. He offered the fruit to Grindyl, laying it on the ground at his feet.

Grindyl picked up the strawberry slowly, still not entirely certain this wasn’t a trick. When nothing bad happened, he took a big bite of the strawberry. The brunette monster gave him a peculiar expression before rising to his feet and leading the blonde monster away. This time, Grindyl felt the finality. He knew that the peace would actually last this time. The gnomes had won their garden back for good. As his neighbors swarmed around him in celebration, he finished his strawberry and contemplated the future. Perhaps, now that he had won this war, it was time for him to move on. After all, there were plenty of other gardens that needed to be set free.

**_~The Conclusion~_ **

****

“Don’t you dare say a word,” Draco spat.

“Who, me?” Harry asked, smiling innocently. “What could I possibly say? Other than I told you so, of course.”

“If you hadn’t suggested de-gnoming our own garden, none of this would have happened! This is literally what house elves are for!” Draco snapped. “But no! The Boy who Lived is too good for house elves!”

“You know that isn’t why I don’t like to use them,” Harry frowned. “And I just thought this could be something fun to do together. I enjoyed doing it with the Weasleys.”

“That alone should have told you that I would hate it,” Draco pointed out. “The Weasleys simply can’t afford to hire someone to do it for them. We, on the other hand, can. And this proves that we should.”

“You’re overreacting. This wasn’t… okay, it was pretty bad. I’d be proud of the little guys if they had t actually injured you. If you have to admit that you went too far,” Harry told him gently. Instead of exploding, as Harry had expected, Draco actually nodded.

“Yes, you may be right. At one point, I wanted to eradicate the entire species,” he admitted. “I suppose I should thank you for stopping me when you did.”

“What are husbands for?” Harry replied, grinning. “I’m just glad nobody got seriously injured. Who knew gnomes had such good throwing arms?”

“Let’s never tell a living soul about any of this,” Draco requested, giving Harry a pleading look. He knew something was wrong when Harry wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Harry?”

“Well… you see… Ron called while you were cleaning off the blood,” Harry muttered. “And I sort of… may have told him the whole story?”

“You may have, or you did?” Draco asked. His voice was suspiciously calm.

“I… did?” Harry replied, though it sounded more like a question than an answer.

“You did,” Draco echoed. His voice immediately turned cold, and he glared at Harry in a way he had t since Hogwarts. “I hope you know what this means.”

Harry sighed, hanging his head in defeat. “I’ll just transfigure the couch into a cot tonight, shall I?”

“Yes, Potter, you will,” Draco shot back.Of course, Draco never managed to stay mad long enough to actually turn Harry away from their bed.

Harry never had the heart to tell Draco that their gnome disappeared, when he discovered it was gone a week later. It was better to just leave things as they were.


End file.
